Me: MY SHOES! WTF!?
Dog: What?
Me: These were brand new! Now they’re ruined!
Dog: Oh. Can I have them, then?
Tag Archives | dog
A Poem From My Dog
July 5, 2012 0
Here’s a poem from my dog. I think she was heavily influenced by Hughes Mearns, but she denies it.
As I barked from the stair
I barked at a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today.
I barked and barked so he’d stay away.
Chocolate For Dogs
July 1, 2012 0
Dog: Wha-cha eatin’?
Me: A chocolate bar.
Dog: Can I have a bite?
Me: No. Chocolate is poisonous to dogs.
Dog: It’s not poisonous to humans?
Me: No. Well…it’ll make us fat.
Dog: Why do they even sell this stuff!?
Me: Because it’s SOOOOOO good!
Dog: …
Dog: Can I have a bite?
Crackers
June 30, 2012 0
DOG: I heard a box of crackers. Did you hear crackers?
ME: No.
DOG: You’re eating crackers!
ME: Fine. *sigh* Yes, I’m eating crackers…but they’re not for dogs!
DOG: That’s OK. I’m just going to stare at you while you eat those delicious crackers.
ME: …
DOG: …
Mud Fight
June 20, 2012 0
Dog: I want to go outside.
Me: You’re just going to play in the mud.
Dog: I won’t play in the mud.
Me: Yes you will.
Dog: I won’t.
Me: No, you’ll play in the mud.
Dog: I won’t. I promise.
Me: Fine. Just don’t play in the mud. (let dog out).
Me: (let the dog in) YOU PLAYED IN THE MUD!
Dog: I couldn’t help it. There was mud, and it had to be played with.
Me: …